Does having an open marriage make sense to anyone?

Really, why be married? Maybe I'm old fashioned but the whole thing just doesn't make sense, at all, under any circumstance. Personally I just think that anyone who does it is just heading for disaster. Probably 1 out of every 100 swinging couples ends happily and I am sure that that is because they find some way to stop swinging. All in all it just seems like a dumb thing to do.Does having an open marriage make sense to anyone?
My wife a year or so ago mentioned she wanted an open relationship. I said I couldn't right from the start. She had womanly problems and said it wasn't fair to me. I've tried to think of others or use porno but the fantasy always comes back to my wife. I guess I still love her after 8 years even though i don't get anyDoes having an open marriage make sense to anyone?
You're mixing it up, my friend. Your headline concerns open marriage but in the details you call it swinging. Two radically different concepts with different goals. Is your statement about about 1 of every 100 swinging couples ending happily backed by any facts or actual statistics? And your statement that anyone who does this is headed for disaster. Is that based on anything other than your own narrow mindedness? You may be correct...I'm just asking if you have anything to base your claims on. And I'm sure you do some dumb things too, so maybe you shouldn't be so judgmental. I'm not saying I disagree with any of your points, it's just that you seem to be spouting supposed facts based strictly on your own opinions. A very Bill Reilly attitude.
Personally I have to agree with you. But then I realize that there are some people that don't date around enough when they have a chance or think they have found the one person for them, but then they want to start exploring and experimenting. So I think as long as they are open and honest with each other, it would cut down on them cheating on each other because, they have set their own rules and the like for what would be acceptable and what wouldn't be.





However I don't think everybody should be flinging open their marriage until both parties realizes and really takes a look at their relationship. Because sometimes(and this is just my opinion), people fling open their marriage, because it seems like what ';everybody'; is doing and they think it is the answer to their problems. When in reality if there was more communication done in the marriage, anyone can easily figure out a way to take care of the issues without involving others.





But overall its still just different strokes for different folks.
The concept of marriage as a mutually growth producing committed relationship does allow for the individuals to explore other relationships in a responsible manner. Perhaps we need to remember that marriage was realized as an agreement between two families about how their wealth would be maintained and transfered to future generations. If we look across the hundreds of societies in the world, they all handle marriage and family differently. The only rules that matter are the ones that make sense to to the people involved.


I don't condone cheating. Communication is even more important when stepping outside of traditional ways of living. The important thing to remember is that with freedom comes responsibility.
Most of these answers indicate a complete lack of understanding of an open marriage. I've noticed that on Y!A people are VERY threatened by things they don't understand and that they could never see themselves doing.





An open marriage has nothing to do with wanting out of the marriage. That is simply wrong.





It's something that works really well for some people who are mature and not jealous. If these people wanted monogamy, they would choose that. I've never heard anyone in an open marriage put down someone in a monogamous marriage, probably because they're comfortable with their own choices and couldn't care less what others do.





To me, jealousy is intolerable and a symptom of insecurity and immaturity. I am in a monogamous marriage now of my own choosing, but I was married to a very well-adjusted man before and for 20 years it was an open marriage. We were happy when we were married, and we are still friends. We divorced mostly because he was never home, and I was lonely.





Demonizing others choices is sad.
Right -- I know a couple of couples who do this. They still cheat on the rules of the open relationship, which causes more discord. For example, if they are allowed to only swing with each other's permission, they still sneak around, hoping not to get caught. They need the thrill, not the sex as much.
It may not make sense to you, but everyone is free to make their own decisions about the life style they choose regardless of what anyone else thinks. I am sure there are decisions about the way you live your life that would make no sense to some people. That is the way life is...we are all different, and hopefully can be tolerant of others.
Not to me, but obviously to some it does. Nothing old-fashioned or intolerant about thinking it makes no sense. It makes no sense. The people who do it have some serious issues. If the arrangement makes it possible for them to have a happier life with those issues, more power to them, but when they start talking about how they're more highly evolved or something, I feel like I'll puke.
What makes you think you are right and they are wrong? Do you feel somewhat superior or what?





If anyone decides they would like to have their marriage that way, they are in the same right as you having a ';closed'; marriage.





It's just another sexual preference like being gay, bi or les... so your not god to judge them.





All of the problems we have in modern society is because people don't want to tolerate others being different and they think they know better but they wrong in so many ways
love avenue and ouragon: great answers. people can DO OR NOT DO whatever they choose. you can disagree with what people do but saying its wrong for anyone but yourself is stupid and a reflection of your ignorance to anything you dont understand





thats part of the problem in society. people demonize what they dont understand or like instead of accepting that they represent JUST ONE WAY OF LIVING LIFE and there are various equally satisfying ways that other people enjoy.
I agree.....why get married. Marriage is a commitment to be true in all ways. I know people slip up and aren't always perfect ... but, if you are married you build from your mistakes, make a stronger bond by being together as a couple. If other people are always involved something is wrong.
I agree!! When you get married you take vows to ';forsake all others'; If you want to have an open relationship, whatever, but an ';open'; marriage is breaking your wedding vows, so it is not a marriage.
You are correct. Every couple is different in what they bring to the table and they make their own rules. You will do well to find a partner that feels as you do. Enjoy your relationship and avoid the ones that aren't your cup of tea.
I totally agree with you i think its disgusting.





If people want to sleep around then they should just stay single.





My husband and i would never have an open marriage or be swingers cause we dont need other people to satisfy us sexually plus we respect our vows.
it would be wrong for me, but there are all sorts of people out there. i think it a decision every couple should make for themselves and as long as everyone is consenting, more power to them.
I don't think it does. Why bother to be married. An open marriage is no more than friends who sleep around together. You don't need marriage to do it.
Ick. I am not into ';strange'; and the thought of having anyone other than my husband gives me the creeps.
yes in cases where the people appear married, but are in fact not
I agree. Swingers are people who want out of the relationship and are too scared to go at life alone.






I agree with you,it makes no sense at all
I agree