Me and my hubby ';Troll'; argue all of the time. Part of the reason is that we don't see each other on a regular basis due to conflicting work schedules.
Things have certainly changed in our 13 years together. We are not formally married, but after that many years together. We are as married as everyone else. Same ups and downs as other couples.
When we have days off at the same time, we always make a point to go out for a meal together or stuff like going camping overnight or cruising yard sales, etc.
We live in a small town now, after years of living in Greater Vancouver, so we are more limited to what we can do up here. We just got HBO through our cable service and now can watch stuff like Bill Maher together...Does having a long, successful marriage mean you and your partner are better at sustaining a relationship?
No matter what you do, marriage will lead to tragedy. Sometimes divorce happens, or eventually someone dies, and the other person is then miserable. Sustaining a marriage until somebody dies is truly a challenge. You have to be able to bend and compromise and communicate, that is the key. You have to know how to argue, and know what not to say. Always remember what attracted you in the first place, and be realistic about changes that happen over time. Love ideally should grow because you know that person very well and understand him and you share a common history that cannot be shared with another.
Not always. In fact few usually last out of harmony and love. Those are rare. Sustaining a relationship is a full-time job. But the rewards are usually worth it.
Most remain in the marriage due to fear, money, power, kids and/or convenience. We will endure much for many reasons.
People are usually pretty resilient and can sustain in most circumstances. We are creatures of habit and comfort and usually do not like change.
Be sure those shoes are going to be very comfortable before you pay for them and take them home. It may be a long time before you can buy another pair. :D
I'm not sure what the secret to a successful marriage is.
I had one marriage that lasted 3 years and my current husband and I have been married 8 (together 11). There are a lot of differences between my current relationship and the previous one. Yes, it takes work, but it's not constant work.
One of the best things I ever heard about marriage was something some celebrity said (can't remember who but it was one who had actually stayed married to their spouse forever) - they said, ';We never fell out of love at the same time.';
And I think that is so true. You always have times when one of you isn't as wild about the other one. The trick is to not let that happen to both of you at the same time. If it does, then you'll be a lot more likely to give up. But it's not outlandish to think that you aren't going to be wildly in love with your partner all the time.
i think marriage is work. its not about love its about taking the good with the bad and realizing that you made a commitment to another person.
my husband just left after almost 8 years of marriage, his reason he doesn't love me, he's found someone else that he may love he doesn't know. but he doesn't care for me.
me? i made a commitment to take him no matter what, even if feelings waiver, because you don't just give up when things get hard.
i feel most people in long relationships understand this. that your not going to love them madly everyday, but you make a commitment and you work with it, good, bad, up, down.
I have been married 33 years %26amp; a lot of the reason has to do with us being so dependent on each other. I think it is very health to be independent of relationships. I think we should have a relationship when we feel it is healthy %26amp; then move on when it isn't %26amp; be able to be alone. We are all one in this world so no one is alone really. I know my son is in his early 30's %26amp; he is single %26amp; so are many of his friends %26amp; they are really thinking about what the reality of marriage %26amp; having kids %26amp; owning a house really are all about. My son has a great career %26amp; eduacation. He can pick up %26amp; move when he likes cause he has taken care of himself %26amp; has no responsibilites. So if a person is consciously living then they should not be concerned about how long a relationship lasts. Now if the person is not paying attention to life %26amp; leaves cause things don't work %26amp; then keeps repeating what happens %26amp; they are not happen then they need to do some work on themself so they can learn how to have a happy life.People who are not happy need some help. I coach people so they can learn about their thoughts in order to control them so they will bring them good results.
I will be married 8 years this December 1st. Both of our parents are still married (over 35 years). When my husband and I decided to get married we were both committed that it would be until death us do part. The first two years were the roughest. We went through a separation and after investing in counseling we were able to work out the issues that we were having over a few months. Looking back now I'm SO grateful that we got help. Many couples in troubled relationships do not seek out help due to laziness, embarrassment, admitting their wrong, or they have already moved on, etc. It's very sad. Marriage takes a hell of a lot of work and commitment but the rewards are indescribable.
(((Eartha)))
Sh*t I think I'm going to go cry for a while and wait until next week to screw my husband's brains out.
Yes!
';Sustaining'; is the operative word here!
The reasons could be as varied as people and/or societies/cultures!
The word 'Successful' itself is open for interpretations. 100% compatibility is 'luck of the draw'...most make do with 50%...in some areas they could be and in others they couldn't be! It depends on what areas are vital for them...and on their tolerance levels!
If you've already decided, then marriage is not for you! Its sweat %26amp; blood at times!
{{{Linz}}}-i will have to admit i have a 7 year itch,in the past i have not listened to my gut instinct that told me ';don't do that!'; I hope this time when that itch comes around i will listen to my instinct %26amp; understand that the grass is not greener on the other side-i hope that that 7 year itch won't ever come back really-wish me luck!!
';i'm way better at sustaining a relationship then mine is. thats why...';
nah, kidding. personally i'd have an easier time holding down hot air particles then holding down a relationship. i suspect that the answer to your question is a little of both ends (luck and personality). kinda like the 'nature vs nurture' thing. if you're looking for one or the other to answer your questions, you'll never get it. you have to be prepared to except some of both.
When I was married, I was in it for the long haul. I told her I loved her everyday (even if I was mad) and meant it. She still left me.
I think some people are not capable of maintaining an LTR, some grow into it, and some get torn out of it. I am in the latter category.
I am sure some women are capable of it, I just do not know any of them.
Hell don't ask me sweetie...i'm a serial monogamist
...the longest I've lasted is 12 years...and I must admit for much of that time i had the distinct feeling that I would have got less time for murder!
I think having a long, successful marriage takes the willingness to accept and understand each other and be willing to compromise and/or at least trying to work through problems rather than giving up.
Not everyone has that same willingness.
I don't think it';s luck.
I just don't give up easily. I took my vows seriously, plus my husband is a peach.
EDIT: I will admit that I gave up on my first marriage of thirteen years and divorced.
I am now married for 17 years to THE love of my life.
I was married most of my life, a very long marriage.
I think it goes on because you are of like mind.
It is primarily a friendship taken to a high level, where the welfare of that person means the world to you.
Luck of the draw. If I had someone else for a wife I may have been divorced by now.
Although I must add that it does take a liitle effort to make a marriage work, it is not plainsailing everyday.
Married 25 years. It takes a love more than sex,fighting and making up over and over, having children that want tolerate it. Having to many ***-est to think of dividing. I hope you like my spelling.
I think it's genetic, like alcoholism. My mum and dad have been married sixty one years and it just runs in my family. Seems normal to me.
It doesn't necessarily mean that, no. There are people out there who will remain in a marriage despite how miserable they are, for various reasons. People who divorce may be happier, overall, who knows?
It just mean that you two are better at understanding and forgiving. That is all it takes... really
It means neither of us has been tempted by something better.
Part luck, part not giving up too soon.
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