How do I ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage?

Tradition in that aspect is important to her, I'd rather not ask but I guess I want to, to make her happy. Her as well as her brother say I have nothing to worry about, however I'm a bit nervous, don't know really what to say or where to begin. Help!How do I ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage?
I totally agree with you. I am recently engaged to my fiance.. he did not ask my father and I agree he should not have... it is not my fathers choice to get married, nor would he have a say anyway... he married who he wanted...LOL Don't get me wrong, its not that i was scared of what he would say, i just think its a ridiculous tradition. This isn't 1944... and any normal, independent woman, wouldn't want or need permission to get married...





Sorry, now that my rant is done, I am thinking if you're uncomfortable have her brother cue you in... since it seems he knows. Let him start the conversation... may make it a little easier for you. You don't have to ask either, you can say, I want to let you know that I plan on asking your daughter to marry me... and I just wanted to discuss it with you first...since I know that is what she would want...





Good Luck on this one!!How do I ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage?
I agree with both you and your lucky girl. While it is the 21st century and you don't need Dad's ';permission,'; it's a sweet and considerate gesture. So I don't think you should ';ask'; - I think it would be more appropriate if you just have a nice sit down conversation about it with them. Does that make sense?





Call him up and ask if you can take him out to lunch, go fishing, come over and catch the game - whatever works. Arrange some quality time alone. Then just bring it up: ';I really wanted to spend some time with you today because I needed to talk to you about something. I love your daughter very much, and she makes me very happy...'; then go on with whatever speech you had in mind. But I wouldn't actually go as far as asking whether or not you can marry her - instead I would ask how he feels about the whole thing. You are talking as adults - not a kid asking for a pony. This establishes that boundary in the most polite and subtle way possible





Also remember too, that if you and your girl have been serious for a while and you are on good terms with his family, then his parents are probably expecting this and will probably be delighted that you had the consideration of talking to them before popping the question. A dad wants to give his daughter away to someone that he fully respects as a man - and this is a great way to earn that even further.





Good luck!
you would call him up and say, hi, mr jones, this is steve, i would like to take you ( golfing, dinner lunch at the club, whatever) and tell him when. you pick him up and take him to say, lunch at a nice nice restaurant. ( you pay for the lunch and leave exactly a 23% tip.) you would dress in a nice, clean way, not !! too casually.





at lunch you say i would like to tell you how i feel about alison. you tell him she is a lovely gal. you outline your plans and goals for the future, and then, after you have told him your plans for success and stability, you say to him, i will honor and respect her always, and, i want you to know that i will do my best always to provide for her and to make her happy. i will be loyal to her always because she is a wonderful girl. then, tell him how much you respect and admire HIM.





after you have said all this, with your head up, in a clear confident man to man way, looking straight at him, you would then say, i would like your blessing, to ask alison if she would marry me next june.





he will talk now and you must listen to all he says with respect and interest.





hopefully this will be followed with approval and some handshaking and smiles all around.





that is the way it is done. i guarantee this.
Ok well I have no idea about how to ask her father, but i do know that you should. I know that my boyfriend is going to ask my parents, and that makes me feel good knowing that, because I do not want to go through the rest of my life with him and my parents not getting along. My cousin's husband did not ask her father and now he cannot stand him. Any way good luck.
Think about what his daily life is like, ask to spend some time with him at a time that is convenient for him, praise his daughter and the job he has done in raising her and ask for his blessing. You can't hide the fact that you and she have already come to an agreement so put on your best manners and be up front.
My Husband had gotten all wrapped up on the proposal he forgot to ask my Dad. But how he was raised it was the proper thing to do. He called my Dad after I said ';yes'; We had been together for 4 years and a baby on the way. I guess really it was hard for my Dad to say ';No'; but he could have always went that direction. Give him a call and tell him you would like to talk. Could you go out for coffee or a brunch. Something to that effect. It is nerve wracking but once it is done you will feel at peace. Best of Luck.
it's totally fine to be nervous about this- this is a very big deal


but really, try just having a great conversation, and maybe talk about friends that you have (or even better, people he knows) who have recently been married, then kinda slip your question in there. he will be shocked (more than likely at least)


GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Do you respect her? Do you respect and even want to get to know her family? Why do you not want to ask her father? CLEARLY you do not respect her at all. You are not only marrying her. You are marrying into her family and vice versa. What is your problem???Why are you trying to hide and rush this??
My fiance' talked to my dad while I was at work. They actually talked for 2 hours, and it brought them closer. I had NO idea what so ever that he was over there. Just call him up one day, ask to come over. You know he's not stupid, he knows its coming if you guys have been serious for awhile! Just start off by saying how much you love her, and you are ready to fully commit yourself forever, and explain how you are going to support her! It must be very scary to do, glad I'll never have to do it!
My boyfriend is going to talk to my dad before he asks me. I think it'll be important to just sit down with him and let him know that you love his daughter and want to know if you can have his blessing in spending the rest of your life with her.
Take him out for dinner and drinks (and YOU PAY!!!). Just let him know how much you love his daughter and want to take care of her, and you would like to have his blessing and permission to marry her. I think he will think of you as a good man for doing so and happily give you his blessing :)
how to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage:


If you live close-by, the easiest thing to do is to call and ask if you can stop by for a moment as you have something to ask them. They'll probably suspect, but that's okay as it will give them time to be prepared and know what to say. If you are friends with them, you might see if they want to go out to dinner, but since this will be rather nervous-making, it might be better to keep it short and sweet.


Should they live far away, try to call at a time when you think they'll be home. If her parents are still married, and you happen to call at a time when only one is available, simply say that you have something you want to ask them, but would like to wait until you can ask them both together, and when would be a good time to do so.





what to say:


Start out by saying a sentence or two about your love for their daughter. Then say something about why you feel now is the time to move the relationship to the next level, and follow it by asking for their blessing. For example, you might say, ';As you know, I love your daughter very much. She is the most beautiful, intelligent and loving woman a man could ever ask for. We've been together for almost three years now, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else but her. I would like to ask her to marry me and I'm here today to ask you for your blessing.'; Simple, but sweet.





what happens if her father says no:


it is always a possibility that her father may say no, but fortunately it is not a very frequent one. If her parents do not want to give you their blessing, try to stay calm. Find out what their reasoning is, if you can. You'll probably want to tell your girlfriend what happened, but try to avoid seeming like you are asking her to take sides. Decide together whether it is better to wait until you can earn their blessing (perhaps they just want you to finish school or have a steady job before you can get married) or to go against their wishes. Try your best to understand where they are coming from, and to appreciate that it is almost certainly a position of love for their daughter.





good luck!!
Goodness me, I was really amazed by this question! This isn't 1930! He doesn't own his daughter and after all, you don't want to marry him!